Not to be confused with a Rolf Harris record

On Tuesday night. there was a BBC documentary about the Son-Rise treatment for autism. I was out but I can't imagine that I missed anything very much - just another quack theory. To be fair, it is less pernicious than, say, holding therapy, because it is based on the idea of respect for the autistic child but to say that by being nice to someone they are more likely to want to hug you is hardly a startling insight. In any case, I have managed to form close friendships with several people who I now feel comfortable with, but this does not mean that I am cured, because I am still wary around strangers.

All in all, there are several major problems with Son-Rise. Firstly, it is incredibly expensive for a piece of trite and obvious advice. Secondly, it seems to be run by a cult called the Options Institute. Thirdly, it is ridiculous to try to cure somebody by accepting them as they are. It is much quicker and more effective just to accept them as they are and then forget about a cure.

By the way, I won't mention it every time I come across another rubbish money-draining treatment for autism. There are literally hundreds of them so this blog would get very repetitive indeed. Suffice to say, there is no properly controlled scientific evidence for a single one of them.

More about me

I've noticed that I have begun to reveal more of myself in these posts than I originally intended. Partly I think it is a result of reading the personal revelations of others in their blogs and feeling that I should give a little in return. Anyway, after much deliberation, I have decided to shift the tone of my blog slightly in a first person direction. This doesn't mean that there will be no more wry reflections about the world - this is very much part of my personality - but I will write about myself a bit more as well. Also, you must realise that, being autistic, it is in my nature to be a trifle guarded, so don't expect all of my deepest and scariest feelings to appear on this page. I'm not quite ready for that yet.

I did suggest at one point that self-revelatory writing about autism is nothing but human interest pornography. However, I never said that there is anything wrong with pornography.

Behold the puppetmaster!

The worst books about autism are always those written by parents who claim to have cured their autistic children. The treatment of choice always has three features - it fails all rigorous scientific testing, it is incredibly time-consuming and expensive, and it is extremely arduous for the child concerned. The reality is that development is often uneven in autism and many children appear to have reduced symptoms over time without any intervention at all.

I have recently come across a particularly bad example of this sort of book. It has all the usual offensive features, including effusive reviews by other Autism Mommies, but it has a special lack of charm all of its own, in the form of a tasteless metaphor based on the story of Pinocchio. The author claims that her son is now a 'real boy', like the puppet at the end of the fairy tale, rather than being autistic. I would like to reassure my readers that I am not made of wood and that I am not controlled by strings - nor do I have any friendship bonds with crickets. However, as I rack my brains for anything positive to say about this apalling piece of literature, I am concerned that if I attempted to do so, that my nose would grow to such a length that I would be unable to see the screen.

Reflections on toilets and democracy

New York City Council has decided that all future buildings in the city should have two Ladies Toilets for every Gents. This is an entirely sensible decision and is based on the sound principle that equality is only possible if people's different physical requirements (ooer) are taken into account - the principle upon which disability discrimination law is based. Sadly however, some of the supporters of the change appear to be working on the more basic principle that they have a majority of female voters in their districts. I fear that cities in which women are in the minority are unlikely to pass such a bill, and it is certainly the case that disability access cannot be allowed to depend upon such cynical considerations. Urination should be regarded as a right - whoever you vote for.

The white box

I got an iPod for my birthday and I love it. I particularly enjoy getting my revenge on the tube passengers of London by listening to it on my way to work. I am also in awe of the technology and I can't quite believe that my entire music collection can be stored in such a small space so quickly and easily. It reminds me of when I saw a ZX81 computer for the first time at the age of seven. Still, this concerns me. Am I slowly but surely drifting into being an autistic stereotype, wanting to take machines apart and put them together again? Am I giving that impression by posting this message? I hope you can see why I don't want to give too much away about myself.

Idle chatter

I went into a chemist's yesterday and asked for some Clarityn Rapide and some anti-histamine eye drops. At the time that I did this, I had tears gushing from my obviously red and sore eyes and guess what the woman behind the counter said. She asked "Have you got hayfever?" No, really - she did! A recent trendy theory about autistic people claims that we find it difficult to understand smalltalk because we lack something called a theory of mind. Sometimes I think that the only reason I am baffled by smalltalk is that it is simply baffling.

Darth Blunkett?

The big mystery about David Blunkett is why a blind man should be so unaware of the discriminaton faced by disabled people in the world of work. Perhaps he has simply been incredibly lucky and has not experienced any himself, which would put him in a tiny minority. However, I suspect that there is a more interesting story to be told - a story in which he was able to put himself in a position of influence by having power over somebody in authority. Maybe there is a dark side to the seemingly innocent Mr. Blunkett, and he has been involved in some unspeakably vile acts in his past (and I don't mean sleeping with Kimberly Quinn). As a consequence, he is frustrated that we aren't prepared to go to the same lengths to beat the system. On the other hand, he might be right. Maybe we should...

Any volunteers?

Still, this is not quite as bad as Blunkett's recent suggestion that Incapacity Benefit claimants should be forced to look for voluntary work, even though volunteering is not covered by the DDA. In effect, he is asking people to move into a sector where they will not receive any protection. Not only are disabled people going to be screwed but they are going to be screwed by people who cannot be made to take responsbility for screwing them. Just imagine if the government took the same approach to sex education. Worrying sentiments from the person responsible for administering the Child Support Agency.

The toothless wonder

According to David Blunkett, disabled people now have access to seven million more jobs as a result of recent changes to the Disability Discrimination Act. Meanwhile, Bob Warner of Remploy has claimed that the biggest barrier to employment is the lack of confidence of disabled people. Both fail to take the complete lack of enforcement into account. We don't lack confidence in our own ability but rather the ability of the jobs market to treat us fairly and we will only be equal when the Disability Rights Commission is prepared to support seven million tribunal cases against employers.

Bully for them

The coverage of same story in the Sunday Times contained a curious argument. Apparently, autistic children should be excluded from schools to prevent them from being bullied. How about black children, I wonder? If they are beaten up and racially abused, should we exclude them as well? We can take this idea so much further. Maybe victims of crime should be locked up to prevent a repeat of the trauma. People who have been burgled should have their homes taken away, and so on. The nation's crime problems would be solved in a flash.

Bad journalism awards

Robin McKie clearly forgot to consult his style guide before writing his piece about Mary Warnock in the Observer. He seems to have used every possible offensive term to describe disabled people. He also claimed that Melanie Phillips in the Daily Mail has attacked Baroness Warnock for turning against inclusion in schools. In fact, Phillips attacked her for supporting inclusion in the first place and took the opportunity to gloat at the u-turn. Whether he failed to read the article or this was a deliberate distortion is unclear but, Mr. McKie, you're on the same side as the Daily Mail on this one.

A rose by any other name...

A Muslim man changed his name and found that it seriously improved his job prospects. As Daniel Jacob, he found it easier to get a job in PR than as Tariq Ahmed. This demonstrates why one should not put too much information on a CV as it is clearly only the name they look at. Forget education and training. Work on that moniker.

Kill or cure?

Apparently, scientists are now trying to cure cystic fibrosis using elements of the HIV and Ebola viruses. Hmm...I can't think of anything that can go wrong there. The trouble is that not enough credit is given to the enormous success in extending the lives of people with CF by more conventional means. Surely it would be better to build on this rather than attempting an "all or nothing" quest for glory - even if no Nobel Prize is forthcoming as a result.

Are you any good?

Psychological tests are great fun as long as you don't take them too seriously. It's even possible to accept that you might have racist biases without beating yourself up about it and you can only overcome your biases by acknowledging that they exist. Similarly, I am willing to accept that I am autistic because I do not see self-knowledge as a threat. I found a website recently which tests the moral reasoning of autistic people. I found my own results surprising and it's hard not to be entertained by an experiment in which one of the researchers is called Fiery Cushman! If you are on the autistic spectrum then give it a go and there is a version for boring normals as well.

Letting things slip

Today I watched England play Denmark in Euro 2005. There are always journalists who say that women's football should not be shown because it is not popular enough, just like the African Nations Cup (e.g. Rod Liddle in the Times) or the Paralympics. This shows how far the media has declined because it now seems to think that its role is to reflect society as it is (or was in the past) rather than to anticipate future trends and indeed to set the agenda. And this week's matches have shown that England's women are just as capable of throwing away a lead as their male counterparts.

A fishy theory

Everyone now and again, someone claims that autism can be cured by taking vitamins or omega-3 fish oils. Therefore, as an experiment, and despite being extremely sceptical, I decided to start taking a daily supplement containing both of these delightful goodies. Several weeks later, I can report that I have not become the life and soul of the party and, indeed, my behaviour does not seem to have changed at all. However, my irritable bowel syndrome has cleared up a treat (a bit of a personal revelation for you there - I hope you enjoyed it).

Welcome to my new blog!

I've decided to join the twenty-first century by creating this new blog, featuring the reflections of a thirty-year-old male autistic Londoner. However, a word of warning before I begin. Literature by autistic people seems to consist entirely of heart-rending anecdotes about the difficulty of relating to a strange world, or supposed insights into what it is like to think in an autistic way. There will be very little of that nonsense here, for two reasons. Firstly, because there are already plenty of places that you can find this sort of human interest pornography and, secondly, because my personal life is none of your (insert your favourite swearword)ing business. So, instead, be prepared for satirical thoughts, political rants and intellectual musings about autism, disability and anything else that takes my fancy.